Target Audience: A Student Reviews "Student Sim"

Note from author: This is a comedic yet critical review on a game using a persona the reader could relate to. There is no score-meter because it uses graphics and the writer is a humbug. Enjoy.

Hi, I'm a student. I'm going to review Student Sim. I am cool. Therefore, this game should be easy. *snort*

Well, except it isn't. *polishes spectacles*

After giving yourself a name (I called my character "Picard" from Startrek), degree (Science ftw!), and choosing a friend (nerdy guys are loyal), you can choose the amount of study time, what food to eat, and what would you like to do. It's very user-friendly like Windows 7 (stfu Macintosh and your oh-so colorful snazzy design). Then, the game simulated what you do in a week and you repeat the same task. Hey, it's like my own life!

The goal is to pass the academic test (that's easy) and get a girlfriend (ok, that's hard). Like other life-simulation games, you have 4 things to check out: health, coolness, academic, and happiness. Health, academic, and happiness is self-satisfactory but coolness is another thing.

I'm still schooling in high school. I know everyone like that chick and dude and they think I'm one of the cool people!. Sure, they call me "fat hamster" or "Porky" but that's ok. It's good to sacrifice oneself to be cool, yo. To be cool in this game... is just plain idiosyncratic. Drinking beer? Getting wasted? Hooking up with girls uglier than Paris Hilton? I question the authenticity of this simulation.

I know, I know, I have never touched a woman's lips, let alone the bosom. But I do know I will find my Juliet. If Suzy is my Juliet, then wherefore art thou Juliet? She is the most hideous woman ever (except my aunt; she's a nutcase)! The pickup truck (get it?) is also impossible to maneuver. Come on, just because my joke isn't funny (well, I knew that... long ago) doesn't mean it'll make you angry! You also need to drink beer at the same time and one wrong click will make the ugly witch angry. Is dating this hard? I tried the other dating sims and just giving them diamonds seem to make them love me!

Well, this game is just... odd. It's odder than kids who don't like Dungeons and Dragons! It's worth a try at the very least but I doubt that anyone of you will like it. Now, if you excuse me, I need to find a girl to osculate in hentai dating sim games.

Recreation of Supposed Persona: